Friday, 16 October 2009

Why There Is Nothing 'Natural' About Jan Moir's Weird Face

“The sight of Jan Moir’s weird face in today’s Daily Mail was deeply shocking. It wasn’t just that another hate-filled, frothing journobot was as ugly outside as in.

Through the recent travails and sad deaths of Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger and others, fans know to expect the expected of low-rank journalists- that the moment someone a bit famous drops off the twig, a weird face like Jan’s will start flapping on about how there’s more to it than meets the eye and making prurient , twitchy, offensive speculations dressed up as moral weariness.

Now look- don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Jan Moir’s weird face. Some of my best friends are Jan Moir’s weird face, although I wouldn’t let it adopt children as they might be bullied. But let us be absolutely clear about this. Normal faces don’t wake up in the morning looking like that. Whatever happened between Jan Moir and her weird face is anyone’s guess. But it strikes a blow against the happy-ever-after myth of loathsome gutter journalism spewed by people with weird faces.”

Bit of a low blow on my part, huh? After all, the poor woman can’t help the way she looks (which, by the way, is HORRIBLE). But if the horrible, upsetting death of a 33 year old man can be poked and pried into in order to further a slimy, bigoted agenda, I don’t see why I shouldn’t point out that the person doing the sliming has a horrible, upsetting face. Moir and her like argue that celebrities forfeit some of their right to privacy when, through their courting of publicity, they ask for our attention. Well, by the same token, Moir has forfeited her right to me not commenting on her weird face by putting a picture of it on the internet. Oh, and by indulging in net-curtain gossiping about someone who never did her (or, so far as we know, anyone) a moment’s harm, before his young body is even cold.

And in many ways, she got off lightly. I could have concentrated on the even more spectacular ugliness of her soul.

203 comments:

1 – 200 of 203   Newer›   Newest»
Duncan said...

Well played.

Vicus Scurra said...

I think that I love you.

Terence Eden said...

"Some of my best friends are Jan Moir’s weird face" - you do realise that means there's a good chance *you're* Jan Moir's weird face?

Top notch post.

Debs said...

Great post. Well said.

Eldoylio said...

Genius!

N said...

Nicely put.

@dreamingshadow said...

Right on dude.

mauvedeity said...

Well said!

CG said...

*applauds*

Anonymous said...

wonderfully expressed

eM said...

well said!

libithina said...

wonderfully expressed

colourthought said...

i hate her i hate her i hate her THANK YOU.

I can breathe again.

Dave said...

Bravo!

Steve Fair said...

That really tickled me - nicely paced and funny.

Kittiah said...

Fantastic. Thank you <3

Fanella said...

Excellently put!

TheGift73 said...

Well said.

rubken said...

@Terrence Eden, No *I'm* Jan Moir's weird face!

Vodka Logic said...

Off to google Jan Moir.... regardless great post... and I am glad I am not Jan Moirs face.
x

Lennie said...

Thank you - I'm glad someone put it better than I could have done! x

Sharon Langridge said...

Hear, hear!

Anonymous said...

well said

Anonymous said...

Bravo!

Ulrik Poulsen said...

Brilliantly put.

Marisa Birns said...

Just read her post and was flabbergasted.

Your post amazes! Well done.

Maddie Grigg said...

I am surprised the Daily Liar isn't considering firing her for her sentence construction: 'As a gay rights champion, I am sure..' Jan Moir? Surely not.

Rebecca said...

Good work! :)

Will said...

Hurrah! Well said.

Farr and Away said...

thank god for the internet. For every twat out there being published there is a reasonable, intelligent, normal human being willing to highlight their twatishness.

Well said.

superlative said...

Love it, well done.

R F Long said...

Well said.

Boolbar said...

Bravo! Now all we need is to shame people into not buying that spewspaper.

Champion001 said...

brilliant, she deserves everything she gets. A totally vile horrible woman.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh excellent.

Davey Hampton said...

oh that was absolutely brilliant. hilarious and pointed. love it.

Mcdonaldtaf said...

Exceptional and perfect!

josie said...

Beautiful - Daily Mail being associated with this vile woman is not good for them.

helsbels said...

i have said before, you can't get angry at people for being stupid, they can't help it.

you have to wait until thier back is turned and laugh at them.

Peter said...

Beautiful. Thankyou for that. "some of my best friends are Jan Moirs face".... Genius

"Post-Google" by TAR ART RAT said...

wow. I am out of the loop here. thanks anyhow.

Phill Connell said...

Very, very good. What an incredibly ugly person.

Anonymous said...

She deserves everything she gets.
http://tinyurl.com/yztsgft

lipsticklori said...

Splendid stuff!

ngairep said...

absolutely brilliant. Well put and a fantastic response to a vindictive and poisonous excuse for a woman.
Well done that man :)

Sheqel said...

I was laughing so loud I think I may have woken the neighbours. (It's midnight here in Melbourne.)

Bravo, my good man, bravo.

Much love,
Ben.

Hans said...

Hear! Hear!

Daniel said...

Brilliant this has made me feel so much better x

Anonymous said...

Well said mate!

Witkin said...

Thank you. We needed this. Beautifully put.

Jane Prinsep said...

And EXHALE!!! Friday can be nice again. Thank you.

Katie Wall said...

Woah. Just read her article.Nasty.

Great response. Thank You, feel better now

Maura said...

Well done.

Anonymous said...

You have reaffirmed my faith in humanity. It's as if we're, like, totally on the same page, dude. Jan Moir's face IS weird.

Ace.

Anonymous said...

We like you. Well said.

Claire said...

Thanks for writing this. Didn't think I could get a laugh out of a story this grim, but you've proved me wrong. Well said.

Charlotte said...

Brilliant!!

Maymee said...

Nice work, what a mean lady...

Oli said...

Gloriously witty and so very, very right - I salute you sir.

fiona-joyce said...

A great faith restorer. A sharp and satisfying retort to a piece of poisonous filth.

Nickie said...

Concur!!

I wrote about this too :)
http://typecast2000.blogspot.com/

Purple Midget said...

Hear, hear - the amount of comments reflect the depth of opinion on this. Well said.

Rob Mortimer said...

Perfectly put.

travispuk said...

Definitely well said.

Glynis said...

I was horrified when I read the article. I do wish you had written about her soul...oh you can't she hasn't got one!

amandamaesteele said...

Couldn't have put it better myself. Brilliant

Robert said...

Exelent responce to a horrible piece of journalism. I commend you sir.

mzlondon said...

You can't say fairer than that. Hope she sees this - and feels truly ashamed.

Anonymous said...

People really do pay too much attention to newspapers.

Lisa Lynch said...

Glorious. Well done indeed.

Paul said...

Touche, my friend, touche.

d wiseman said...

Well said .. I think you have really hit the nail on the head there..

iMADEtheBBC said...

I kiss you on both cheeks.

Superb.

@littlegingerkid said...

Excellent!

tds said...

Who is Jan Moir?

stuart said...

well done sir. I like how Jan Moir's profile picture on the Daily Mail's website has her "weird face" twisted away from her body. I assume this is an attempt to hide her fat neck and 14 chins.

Ludovica said...

Well said. So tired of people standing in judgement all the time. Newspapers in the UK go way too far pursuing non-news just because the protagonists have a famous name BORING. A talented and nice young man sadly died. end of.
We shouldn't allow this family's personal tragedy to be spiked and publicly displayed as an example of something the Daily Mail sees fit to turn their nose up at, something to breed fear and dislike
What the hell is up with these weird face people anyway? who made them top of the foodchain. Beastly woman, her arguments are as valid as the proverbial 9 bob note

Greig Byrne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Taexalia said...

Usually I don't like name-calling but sometimes it is done with such style that I clap my hands and whoop. Reading your post is one of those occasions.

Thank you.

Greig Byrne said...

A cultured riposte, thank you

Lesley Cookman said...

I do hope she's read this. Thank you for saying so well what so many of us think.

Tim Footman said...

I hope she's crying tears of molten shit.

Dean_Harrison said...

I must echo and agree with Stephen Fry’s tweet on your article ‘No one has put it better than @jondrytay. Absolutely Brilliant. A grateful hug, Jonathan’ …… having read both, I agree, Absolutely Brilliant! And I salute you for comments!
@Dean_Harrison

Lisa said...

Excellent, just excellent.
I'm glad you pointed out her weird face, now we can talk about it openly instead of hating her weird face behind her back.

theodor said...

I salute you sir!

Keira said...

Thank you for that. You've restored my faith in the human ability for compassion and intelligence. Much love. xxx

Scaryduck said...

Congratulations, you have won THE INTERNET

Ally Farrell said...

Genius.

Anonymous said...

Cant help thinking that by focussing on Jan Moir's weird face rather than the venom and total lack of coherence in her article, you're somehow legitimising the the latter. Funny post though.

Paul Halsall said...

Three cute young men share a joint and some sex play. One dies later.

I am not prepared to condemn this gentle gay swinging which many gay men do do.

And I am sad Stephen Gately died.

But someone needs to stand up and say that Gay liberation is not all about becoming just like straight people.

For some of us, being gay means a marriage with someone we love, where the loved develops into friendship, and one soul lives in two bodies.

For many of us, being gay means serial monogamy (as with many straight people).

And for many of us, being gay means a mix of many things, one being that we appreciate and celebrate the sheer joy of sexual pleasure, sometimes taking place in groups, and seeing in that a joy of union and fellowship which is its own justification.

As for me, I wish I were cuter!

heres_hoping said...

Completely well put, man!

howhow said...

She has profited out of the dead like a necrophiliac pimp.

Anonymous said...

Only just seen all this and read Jan Moir's piece, aghast. Well said and well-written. Skippy

Rachel said...

Marvellous.

There's now a FB group with all the advertisier contact details - get in touch and tell them to contact their media buying departments about having their brand ads placed next to hate content.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=151083562155

Lucy said...

Bravo!

Bernie said...

A very appropriate evisceration of said journo. And a well deserved one, too.

Anonymous said...

I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said by the plethora of previous commenters... and so, instead of trying to come up with something unique and/or original, I shall simply stand back and applaud wildly.

Good show, sir.

History Man said...

well said! The woman is vile

Anonymous said...

AMEN.

Anja said...

That is just PERFCET, almost poetry:

"And in many ways, she got off lightly. I could have concentrated on the even more spectacular ugliness of her soul. "

Joe Lepper said...

Well said....great piece.
I'm a journalist and left a comment on the daily mail site saying that she brings shame to our profession. They didn't publish it. They are quite happy to dish out such piffle but not take criticism. Jan Moir is a truly shameful individual.

Cazzawaw said...

Sir,

I salute you and Jan Moir's Weird Face.

John said...

Excellent post, Jan Moir's weird face, disfigured body and monsterous soul put properly in place! I only hope some action is taken against this vile woman.

Dean_Harrison said...

I must echo and agree with Stephen Fry’s tweet on your article ‘No one has put it better than @jondrytay. Absolutely Brilliant. A grateful hug, Jonathan’ …… having read both, I agree, Absolutely Brilliant! And I salute you for comments!
@Dean_Harrison

Chateaupoulet said...

Beautifully put.

James said...

and BAM!

No pun intended, but in your face, Jan Moir!

Steven Harris said...

Brilliant.

ichiaye said...

Thank you so much! For your intelligent and satirical Exocet against bigotry.

-F said...

Genius!

Anonymous said...

I have nothing else to add, except thank you.

A funny and fitting response to that woman's disgusting piece of "journalism."

simon294uk said...

Marvelous stuff. We actually have conclusive evidence of her wierd face, unlike the random speculation and drivel that she spouted, which wouldn't be worthy of the slop you find in gossip mags.

Sarah said...

Have to say, I think it's a shame you felt the need to pass comment on Jan Moir's face - she comes across as such a total, unremitting, dense c+nt, that you could well have done better to attack her outrageous views rather than concentrate on her looks. I just think this is a cheap shot which is almost ALWAYS levelled at women. I do realize it is being said tongue in cheek, but still..

sketch seven said...

*applauds*

well written and brilliantly appropriate response to her hate-filled and hateful article. Great stuff.

weaselandalf said...

Sir, I do believe you've just won the internet. (As well as my respect)

Jarvissa said...

Cheap shots, buddy. Cheap shots.

Chunk Soul Brother said...

Sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar.
Bravo.
I applaud your writing here. Couldn't have put it better myself. Thank you for putting that down for others to appreciate.
Keep up the good work.

Ms Slide said...

Brilliant! She looks like a hippo that's walked into a lamppost.

Ms Slide x

p.s. I wrote a blog post called "No Moir" and then sent all the text to the PCC - http://bit.ly/rCz9q - everyone should feel free to RT, copy, paste, and generally recycle it to bump the number of PCC complaints up!

Big Tim said...

Only one point to pick up on - don't you have to sell your soul to write a column in the Daily Mail?

Dee said...

:) nice one. This has subsided my rage enough to continue to function today. Many thanks good sir!
xx

Anonymous said...

I like the cut of your Jib, sir

Timothy Titus said...

Just brilliant. Well done. You speak for the masses - far more than any gutter journalist.

Anonymous said...

do you think The Mail will print this article? Paul Dacre....any thoughts??


CR

Vicky said...

Brilliant. A fantastically written piece proving that, just because you're a journalist, you don't have to be like Jan Moir. Some of us are actually human.

andrea joseph's sketchblog said...

Yes, brilliant.

WhoopieCat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WhoopieCat said...

Does anyone else think Jan Moir looks like the woman Arnie disguises himself as in Total Recall?

http://popten.net/wp-content/gallery/concept-art/total_recall_large_03.jpg

Keef said...

a taste of her own nasty medicine. good job.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

The winner of the day is you. Enjoy your winnership!

Anonymous said...

I'm Jan Moir's face, and so's my wife

(Ennio)

So Stylistic said...

Lol! @The Imaginary Reviewer.

well put! ugly people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!

Anonymous said...

Jan Moir = random orc. Daily Mail = real evil up in tower.

simon

kemeny said...

Nice work! Looks like someone has re-imagined your words as if they had appeared in the Mail...

http://bit.ly/3uE6uu

Anonymous said...

excellent reposte

Paul M said...

so good, a bit of wee has come out

Sarah Davies said...

Well put. Infinitely more graceful than she would ever be able to manage, or even recognise.

Buffy said...

You're fab and my new hero! Well said!

agent_krycek said...

Fantastic, said it way better then I could have. I doff my cap in your general direction

Michaela said...

fantastic.....
now everyone complain from what I've heard they have already received over 20,000.....
if this continues she'll never get anything published again.

send her back to 1970s Britain

http://www.pcc.org.uk/cop/practice.html

BjBoyLondon said...

Love your response. Love you. Will you "Civil Partner" me? x

Nick said...

Excellent stuff. The last words on her soul were so apt.

Claire said...

Agreed - this reproachable piece of English embarrassment needs to be sent to Coventry or oblivion at everyone's earliest mutual convenience.

She is the least-evolved kind of human imaginable, and I sadly, perversely hope that someone close to her suffers a scurrilous misfortune for us all to shut up smugly about.

Warmest regards, etc,

Claire

fuzzy said...

Why There Is Nothing 'Natural' About Jan Moir's Weird Face
— could be the greatest slogan ever for a tee-shirt … sales of which could make you richer than the person who invented cat's eyes. You are top banana.

Ho hum, hum ho! said...

Hurrah! Brilliantly written.

Anonymous said...

I only wish she could see this.

Great post

Viki said...

Bloody brilliant!

Joe Lepper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neon Filler said...

You win the award on my music website for the best Jan Moir blog.

http://www.neonfiller.com/page6.htm#50775

"Some of my best friends are Jan Moir’s weird face" ...genius

Marcus Keeley said...

Lovely stuff.

Cheryl Emmanuel said...

Great - very funny! Thank you.

Huckleberry Hax said...

Superb!

Jimbo said...

I had never heard of her. Looked her up on the internet. Found a picture. I was disappointed. Not that bad, at least for an island known for it's ugly people.

Jam said...

Brilliant! :-D

Linda said...

very smart and brillaint article . if she can make personal comments about famous people why can't people make personal comments about her . nicely written .

Anonymous said...

brilliant. thank u.

Madison said...

As many have said before, well said. I can't believe that something that hateful got published at all.

Much love from Canada.

Sad Merrill said...

*chuckle*
I can't help observing (as a lard-arse myself, albeit one on a diet) that her poking fun at the Nolan Sisters further down the page for being middle-aged and overweight! I don't find her face weird, only her opinions. However, unlike sexuality, one's lardarsiness IS something that is under the individual's own control. As Moir appears quite happy to burden future taxpayers with her medical bills, and civilised humans everywhere with the abominable, stinking vomit she writes, I can only ascribe her sickeningly bloated appearance to a lack of moral character.

fatboyfat said...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner...

Anonymous said...

Well said. *joins queue to marry Jondrytay*

Ranting Teacher said...

Hehe go to the top of the class.

thejabberwocky6 said...

Thats funny! She looks almost exactly like a manager at my work. A podgy screwed, sort of dogs bottom of a face that has the un-natural hew of a beetroot, insinuating that she may have had some physical trouble climbing a flight of stairs before that picture was taken! She may as well had some poo coming out of her mouth too.

cherryPip said...

I don't have a problem with Jan Moir's weird face, so long as she doesn't try and rub it in mine

what Jan Moir's face does in the privacy of it's own home is it's own business, but what really bothers me is when it insists on forcing other people to witness it, like it thinks it's normal or something..

Sarah from Sussex said...

Thank you sir, a delightful post I shall treasure, expressing what I thought I think, yet eloquently and with dignity. And you didn't finish with a prolonged wet raspberry. Not sure I'd have had the restraint myself, which is why (mature) people like you should continue blogging and (childish) people like me should stick to the commenting :o)

Joanne said...

Best response to this vile article I've seen yet.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic, will do her good to be on the receiving end for a change!!!!

Anonymous said...

Great, Wunderbar!
Sack her I say!

Gareth said...

Great post.

I wrote about the lovely Jan on my blog too, and had a nice idea about how we can show our gratitude.

http://p0pvulture.blogspot.com/2009/10/time-to-pay-our-disrespects.html


Let's make 'Moir' the new 'Santorum'

metrodeco said...

This morning Brighton's Nikki Bayley (@nikkib on Twitter) made one of the first complaints in the country about the Daily Mail's vile columnist Jan Moir and here cowardly homophobic attack on Stephen Gately. Here's the Press Complaints Commission's response http://tiny.cc/aPipa

anna_bee said...

Thank you so much for this entry! As a great Boyzone fan, I was deeply shocked and upset about what this woman said about our dear Stephen, as were many others on forums and websites. I can't believe her commentary was allowed to be published at all! I pray that Stephen's partner, friends, family and last but not least his brothers from Boyzone are keeping away from from such low-life 'journalism', people like her are making this already unbearable situation even more horrendous!

Sueh said...

Well said James - but then the whole of this bitter, twisted woman's ironically titled 'Femail' page just showcases what a bigoted, ignorant and sick mind she has. Having churned out pure bile about Steven Gately, she goes on to produce further nastiness about the Nolan sisters (she should look so good when she's half their age, let alone have an ounce of their talent?) Still not content, she can't resist attacking the fellow sisterhood she's supposed to be writing for, with a totally ill-considered piece about maternity leave. I hope her karma comes back to bite her very hard on her presumably expansive bum - she's no sister!

Anonymous said...

Amen!

David said...

Is this a Flashmob comment joke?

What, no link to the article? No photo of this ugly mug?

Whatever, jumping on the bandwagon of an untimely death is horrid but utterly predictable.

Thank you for linking to speak YOUR Branes or whatever it's called. I laughed out loud about Melanie Phil(?l)ips. So I'm expecting a comment there too.

As for what's going on here, I'm baffled.

David said...

Well, thanks to Pop Vulture, I found the link. I think it's usually best to try and steer clear of the murk that lurks on so many blogs. But this is a different matter - it's the paper my mother sometimes reads, and, yes, the article's libellous. I hope this Moir horror is taken to the cleaners. There's evil for you.

Anonymous said...

U all need to get lives.

Annie said...

Nicely put.

Nobby said...

Oh my, such hate for someone! And for someone practically in the next cubical, doing the same job as you. Such repetition is childlike and barely readable. Subject matter is irrelevant as it lacks journalistic skills, therefore detracting, making the whole thing passé. (Your, not her Brother, are you? That would explain a lot.)

Helen Jennifer Davies said...

Sadly,although I wish to pour vitriol on the evil that has manefest as Jan Moir,I'm begining to be concerned that even bad publicity is still publicity and that this out-pouring of condemnation will merely bolster her view of herself!
She evidently believes herself to be right so the Twitterings and what-have-you will just make her think that the great unwashed simply don't have the intellect to handle such a complex issue.
We all know that all that came out of her PC was the witterings of a sour,aging fascist but as I assume she hasn't spent any time with any of the celebrities she chose to pour literary 'burning-hot oil' over.
I'm not a journo,I'm just an ordinary Mum but even I know my talent for writing far exceeds hers,so time for the Mail to give her the last pay-cheque and let her drift off into obscurity to rear mangy old feral cats or whatever it is that bitter,world weary bigots do......

TK said...

WELL SAID!!!

RodMunday said...

If Jan Moir complains about this article, you can in your defense aregue that she probably has not read it all the way through. Furthermore you can express your shocked displeasure at the suggestion that your article was in any way uglyoldbintophobic, or had uglyoldbintophobic undertones. Finally I'm sure your concern was for those pretty and impressionable young girls who think that growing up to be an ugly old homophobe writing in the Daily Mail is some sort of glamourous career choice.

Anonymous said...

I really *DO* want to see Jan Moir killed. Slowly, and in as painful a manner as possible.And I hope that she *does* die soon, really I do.

I'm sick of playing nice for a bunch of bigots, religious loonies and crass opportunists like her. String her up!

Amna said...

You sir, are brilliant

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Quality!

Charlotte said...

right on! perfectly put.

Anonymous said...

This blog is full of hate. The original article was just slightly stupid.

The whole campaign depresses me. How can someone write in and say they love you for this piece of rubbish? Why is it so much better than Jan Moir's article?

We're seeing homophobia where it isn't there - then going on a fairly viscious witch hunt. You've decided she's the devil and so it's ok for your nasty side to come out. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

correction "this blog *post* is full of hate" The blog itself - well I couldn't say...

Anonymous said...

Lovely turn of phrase. I think i would have just called her a Cnut and been done with it.

Leah said...

Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant

donnastcy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
donna stacey said...

Beautifully put.

I have not seen Jan Moir's face, but I do find her opinions incredibly weird, unatural and sickeningly ugly.

David H said...

bravo - there's two growing groups on face book - one called "fuck the daily mail" and "The daily mail should retract..." . Tell the world !

Jonny said...

Brilliant! Well written and intelligent post. And I can't stop giggling about the "HORRIBLE" line!

人妻 said...
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Hチェッカー said...
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家出 said...
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高収入アルバイト said...
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jondrytay said...

Note:

I don't know why this page has suddenly been targeted by spam in Japanese, but it's ever so boring having to delete it all.

高級チェリー said...
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困っています。 said...
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副収入 said...
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スタービーチ said...
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