I had a typically insomniac night. Hotels do that.
At one point, I woke up conscious of a vague tinny sound which, as I woke up more, revealed itself to be singing. After yet more waking up, I realised that my ipod had somehow switched itself on and what I could hear was the sound of music playing through headphones. It was pretty clear what kind of music it was- a tenor singing something quite lush and germanic, possibly Richard Strauss. Pleased with my powers of observation, I got out of bed and located the ipod to turn it off.
Have you ever noticed how when you think an ipod from the other side of a hotel room is playing a tenor singing something lush and germanic, possibly Richard Strauss, because you hear it through the headphones in the middle of the night, and you get up out of bed to locate it and turn it off, it's actually Alison Moyet singing Alfie?
If I ever do any stand-up, I think this will be my opener.